Dear McCormick Spices,

Dear McCormick Spices,

Your directions state, "Use a dash to 1/8 tsp in most recipes for 4 servings unless very hot food is desired. Increase to suit taste. Cook with dried beans.

Your use of the imperative, "Cook with dried beans" concerns me because now I must always either A. cook with dried beans for the rest of my life, or B. use your seasoning when cooking with dried beans. Either way, I don't like it. Let me explain.

An imperative sentence gives a direct command. Your command to cook with dried beans has now been thrust upon the public. I do not understand how you could issue such an imperative. Must I now add a dried bean to everything I cook? This doesn't seem American to me. If I were living in France, I wouldn't mind it because they regulate everything. They even have an Academy that regulates the proper use of the French Language. As for me, I like a little freedom. However, since I am keen on following the instructions on the products I purchase, I will now throw a dried bean into everything I cook, and also put an 1/8 tsp of your product in everything I cook. I wish I hadn't even purchased your product. Now I am a slave to your product for the rest of my life, and a slave to the dried bean manufacturers of the world.

Sincerely,
Very Upset and Gassy

P.S., Do you think you could send me some bean recipes? It seems like I will be eating quite a few for the rest of my life. Also, some coupons for your product would be great.