Dear Walmart

Dear Walmart,

I would like to recommend that you build a big store, really big. Maybe you could call your store a Super Center. Granted, I haven't been in a Walmart in about 15 years, but I think it would go over really well. Here's a plan to get this idea off the ground:

1. Purchase about 20 acres of land and make about 10 acres of that a parking lot.

2. Hire about three hundred employees, only 10 percent of them should actually be willing to help people and do work. The other 270 should exist for the simple pleasure of denying them health insurance. After all, they really aren't helping people.

3. Since you would call it a Super Center, think big, like the Super Dome, before that damage occurred to it.

4. Get as many different types of things from all over the globe, but mainly from China . . . China will be your best friend.

5. Finally, hire lawyers to fight the anti-progessives in the communities who will obviously oppose this new Super Center. Some people are opposed to change no matter how good it is.

Oh yes, one more thing. . . if you are able to build your new Super Center on Sacred Indian Burial Grounds, or if you can tear down mom and pop stores, you'll be better in the long run.

Sincerely,
Guy that liked Walmart before they became so small.