Dear Harney and Sons,
The back of your tea tin says, "The Correct Way to Brew Black Tea." It then gives the following directions:
Heat pot with boiling water until warm to touch. Discard that water and use one sachet for two cups of tea. Pour boiling water over sachet and steep 5 minutes.
I have a few questions:
1. Do I immerse the pot in the boiling water, because your directions say, "heat pot with boiling water until warm to touch.?"
2. After I discard the water that I heated my pot with, what do I do? Add more water?
3. You then tell me to pour boiling water over sachet and steep for five minutes. What boiling water? I already poured the water out. You told me to discard it.
This is all very confusing to me. I was hoping to drink a cup of tea. I heard that tea has a pleasant taste, but all I am looking at now is an empty pot that is warm to the touch. The sachet is inside, but I have no boiling water, as per you second set of instructions.
Please help me, I'm sinking in an infinitude of boils and reboils.
Yours Very Truly,
Man who thinks tea would taste good if he had some good instructions on how to make it.
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1 comment:
Dear man who thinks...
The Harney & Sons Tea Co. recently fired me from my position as writer of instructions because they thought my writing was too succinct. Besides, sales were off. After my farewell party and the gift of a lifetime supply of Harney & Sons tea, they immediately hired a recent high school graduate to fill my position. Naturally, I was incensed! The result, however, has been fortuitous for Harney & Son since they now have a large young adult following who know nothing about tea and are content with a warm tea pot and a dry tea bag.
I shall now tell you the way anyone born after 1980 makes tea in a pot.
1. Boil water in a kettle larget than your teapot.
2. Pour a portion of the boiling water into your teapot which will heat it until it is warm to the touch.
3. Discard the water currently in the teapot.
4. Add sachet(s) to your teapot and fill it with the remaining boiling water from your kettle. Steep five minutes, and Bob's your uncle! In addition, you'll have a nice cuppa.
Cheerio!
Superannuated
xoxoxo
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